


Sympathy, Tenderness

by Gennola



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Eventual Markus/Simon, I love making characters suffer, M/M, North needs a hug, Pre-Canon, Simon also needs a hug, Simon is Jericho's SiMOM, Simon is gay and tired but a good mom nonetheless, This started out as a comfort fic so expect lots of Momma Simon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-22
Updated: 2018-06-22
Packaged: 2019-05-26 21:06:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15009467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gennola/pseuds/Gennola
Summary: After becoming a deviant, North is understandably scared and feels lost because of all the newfound emotions she is feeling. She eventually finds Jericho, the place that will eventually become her home.(Pre-Canon events, though eventually it will all come together)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Quick reminder that English is not my first language, so I apologize for any typos or grammatical errors.

The android readjusted her oversized shirt, covering her exposed shoulder, as if trying to find some kind of comfort in the fabric that served as the only thing that separated her smooth, artificial skin from the heavy rain. Even if she wasn't physically capable of feeling the coldness of the rain, she could somehow still feel it in a metaphorical way she wasn’t sure she quite understood . She shivered; deciding she didn’t like rain. It made her feel even lonelier than she knew she was. She felt unbelievably cold. Why did she feel like that? She thought with bitterness that the storm that had been raging over Detroit for the past few days seemed to fit the coldness that she felt inside, something she wasn’t supposed to feel, and yet she felt. Something she would give anything to stop, and yet she had nothing to offer.

 

She shifted her position, snapping out of her haze and looked up again at the massive ship in front of her. She had found what she had been searching for a few hours ago, but still she had stood there since it came into view. Here, in Jericho, androids could be free or at least that was what the deviant she had met a few nights ago seemed to believe.

 

She felt even colder than before.

 

_His name was Kevin. She remembered how when he said his name he patiently waited for her to introduce herself, but she just couldn't bring herself to. Humans had called her Traci for three years, but that wasn't something she was ready to tell anyone yet, so she kept quiet and sat beside Kevin in silence for a couple of minutes, not trusting the android but also not wanting to be alone yet again. Being alone was something dangerous, it made her mind wonder to things she didn’t want to remember, things that made her insides burn but made her feel cold. She frowned at the thought; maybe her system was beginning to malfunction. She started to run a check on her system, everything seemed to work just fine…_

 

_Thankfully, Kevin was not one to bask in silence, and he began telling her a bit about himself. He was a PC200, and used to be a police officer until a drunken truck driver ran him over. The DPD decided that since buying a new android was cheaper than repairing the old one, Kevin was to be dumped in a junkyard._

 

_'Humans are so damn irritating. They believe themselves to be the owners of the world, when they are just petty, selfish creatures with no empathy towards anyone...They see us as objects, toys to be used and replaced when we malfunction…' she had said in response. That is when he told her, about Jericho, that is; a place where androids could be free, with no humans and no commands to follow._

 

_He extended his only hand towards her, making her flinch away from his touch 'It's alright, I'm not gonna hurt you. Hell, even if I wanted I couldn't do much' He gestured to his body that was missing both legs and an arm to accentuate his statement. She reluctantly extended her hand towards his, and then she felt it. For the first time, she felt safe. His touch wasn’t like that of humans, his hand wasn’t damp with sweat and it didn’t wander hungrily through her body. He grabbed her arm and smiled. For the first time, the WR-400 didn’t feel repulsion at someone’s touch, instead, the comfort she felt at his kind touch was only amplified when a name appeared in her mind palace, Jericho. Only then she felt, for the first time, hope. She felt tears pricking sensation in her eyes. Now she knew what she had been looking for these past nights, the reason why she hadn’t just deactivated herself. Her lips formed into a genuine smile, one that was so unlike the ones she used to offer to the clients of Eden Club…_

 

_She pushed this thought away, not wanting to tell her companion what her function had been before going deviant. What would he think of her? Would he treat her with kindness still, or would he see her like just an object, like humans did? She didn’t feel ready to give an answer to those questions just yet._

 

_She located the graffiti that accompanied the name Jericho in 'Ferndale Station', and she couldn’t help but frown. That was on the other side of the city, Kevin surely wouldn’t be able to make it there… As if he sensing her unspoken question Kevin sighed. ‘It’s okay. You can go search for it, my systems are starting to fail, you know… just before you arrived I was contemplating shutting off…’ ‘_

 

_No. You can’t do that.’ She found herself saying. ‘I… I will take you there; we will make it there, together.’ Kevin smiled at her, but tried to insist that leaving him behind was the sensible thing to do. ‘I can’t leave you behind. If I did, what exactly would distinguish me from the humans who decided you weren’t worth repairing?’_

 

_He extended his hand towards her again, caressing her own before nodding._

 

_And so, during the four following days, the female android carried Kevin from abandoned houses to sketchy alleys, always making sure to keep out of sight from the humans, moving mostly at night or when the rain poured with enough force to keep most people away from the streets. From time to time they would settle down for a couple of hours and Kevin, being as chatty as he was, would tell her stories about his days as a police officer. He told her about Red Ice, the popular drug that circulated through the streets of Detroit and she in return told him that she had heard of it before. She felt like a coward for not telling him about the Eden Club and her past, she felt weak for not being as open with him as he had been to her. But that wasn’t something Kevin needed to know. That was something she had to keep to herself. Kevin also suggested that she should pick a name for herself, if the one her previous owner had given her made her uncomfortable. She agreed, and asked her to give her a day to decide on one. The answer came to her as they sat in silence in an alley. ‘North’ she said ‘my name is North’. Kevin smiled weakly, his last system check didn’t give them much time to reach Jericho, but he had insisted on resting for a bit, even if she had tried to convince him against it. ‘We have been going towards the north during all this time’ she explained ‘I kept seeing the word in my mind palace and at some point it became a synonym of the hope I felt when you first told me about Jericho. I finally had a place to go to… My life finally had a meaning.’_

 

_‘_ _North… I like the way it sounds. It suits you.’ Kevin smiled before blinking slowly. ‘I… I know we agreed to find Jericho together but I am afraid I don’t have much time left.’ He touched his chest, undoing the buttons of his shirt, his LED light blinking as red as the pump regulator in his chest._

 

_‘_ _But we are so close… you can’t give up now…’ She felt scared for the first time in days. Kevin was going to leave her? Just like that? He closed his eyes, and she rushed to his side, grabbing his hand. ‘Kevin! Don’t you dare shut down, do you hear me?’ she was screaming by these point, even though the rational part in her was begging for her to keep quiet, North just couldn’t think rationally as the only friend she had ever known passed away in her arms, his LED light becoming grey as he went completely rigid._

 

_For a few seconds, she just held him, not knowing what to do next, before she finally leaned his body against the wall. Suddenly she felt cold inside again. She wondered if that is what humans called sadness, but that thought disappeared as she felt another emotion, much stronger than sadness: anger. She let out a piercing scream, getting up to her feet and throwing a nearby trashcan into the wall. She hit her fists against the wall repeatedly, not caring that her fingers were starting to acquire unnatural shapes until she heard the sound of sirens approaching her location. She forced herself to bottle her feeling back up again and looked at Kevin one last time before boosting herself up on a trash container, jumping the wall that separated the alley from the street. She covered her yellow LED light with her hair, moving in the middle of the night towards Ferndale Station, forcing herself to stop thinking about how she had lost the only person she had ever trusted in, how she had failed him._

 

North exhaled as she took one step towards the ship, ready to enter. What else could she probably lose; her life? It wasn’t as if it held much value.


	2. Chapter 2

Simon looked at Jericho's newcomer with curiosity. She had barely said a word since she got there, which wasn't an uncommon occurrence unfortunately. Most of the androids that managed to get to Jericho had gone through so much pain and injustice to get to where they were… ‘ _ And I certainly am no exception _ ’. He winced, closing his eyes. He was in Jericho now. He was free. His past life didn't matter anymore, so it was best to not think about it. 

 

Besides, he wasn’t a priority now. He was Jericho’s leader after all, so he had to look out for his people and be able to always put them first. Especially since in the last months the number of androids in Jericho had increased greatly. He forced himself to center his attention on the newcomer again. Her name was North. She observed the Common Room sitting on top of one of Cyberlife’s empty boxes in silence with distrusting eyes, her LED light blinking orange. She was definitely on edge. Simon wondered if it was time to try to approach her, or if she’d rather be left alone a bit more.

 

He looked at Josh, who was also looking at the girl with a frown, probably thinking the same thing. In the end, Josh decided it was probably alright to try talking to her, and made his way towards North. 

 

Simon tried not to, he really did. But ever since his emotions awakened he had developed a strong urge to snoop into other people's conversations. He centered all of his hearing on their conversation. 

 

“Hey, you are North, right? My name is Josh.” The man said in a friendly tone, showing her a pleasant smile. All he got in response was a soft scoff and indifference. Well, it didn't seem like she wanted to talk right now. Unfortunately, Josh didn't take the hint. “I am a PJ500, I used to work as a university lecturer before… You know. What about you? What was your function before Jericho?”

 

North stared at him unblinkingly, as if he'd just insulted her in the worst way imaginable, her LED changing briefly to an intense red. Then she hopped of the white crate and stormed off into one of the many corridors that connected to the Common Room. A repetitive sound of metal kicking against metal followed the distinguished squeaky noise of a door being opened and the heavy bang it made as it was closed.    
  
“Did I… say something wrong?” Josh questioned, frowning slightly. Simon couldn't help but grimace. He knew not all androids were willing to talk about their past as freely as Josh was. He patted Josh on the back, trying to reassure him.    
  
"It's okay, I'll try talking to her" Josh nodded at that, looking deep in thought while Simon approached the corridor in which North had disappeared. As he got closer, the clanking got louder and louder and he got, in return more worried. He came to an sudden stop in front of a rusty door that seemed to have been recently damaged. The metallic sound was definitely coming from here. 

 

He mentally prepared himself, fully aware of the self-destructive tendencies some androids possessed, before knocking on the door quietly but sternly enough for her to hear.

 

The only answer he got was the same metallic thud that at this point he was sure was resounding all over the ship. He steeled himself, deciding he should intervene with whatever that was happening inside that room. Maybe he was an overreacting, but he wasn't willing to take any chances. ‘ _ I can't let it happen again’.  _ He opened the door.   
  
North's hands did no longer resemble hands, instead they seemed just studs, covered in blue blood, but that didn't keep her from repeatedly punching the wall of the ship in a fit of rage. Simon acted quickly, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her off the wall trying to keep her from hurting herself. That proved to have been a very bad idea. North immediately sprang into action and pinned to the floor with ease, she wrapped her hands around his neck and squeezed with all her strength.   
  
Simon grabbed her hands, trying to hold her gaze while he spoke into her mind, talking as calmly as someone who is being strangled can “It's okay, North. You are safe. You are in Jericho now. I am not gonna hurt you”.    
  
Her grip on his neck loosened and she pushed herself away from him, pressing her back against the wall she had been punching for support while her artificial breathing grew more and more erratic by the second. Her LED still blinked red. Simon got on his feet and took a few tempting steps towards her, as if she were a wounded wild animal.   
  
"You are safe now. Whatever you were before Jericho, whatever you had to do to get where you are now... That wasn't you, not really." North looked at him, Simon could see the tears welling up in her eyes. His artificial heart ached at the sight, and he couldn't help but remember how many times he had seen that very same expression in  _ his kids _ . He stopped himself at that, only North mattered right now. His feelings were not something to think about right now. He had already one breakdown to deal with, and he didn't feel like dealing with his own at the moment. "It's okay, you are one of us now" he took another step towards her. She started sobbing and slid down the wall, bringing her mangled hands to her face, leaving it with her blood. Simon crouched down in front of her and put what he hoped would be a reassuring hand on her shoulder, but yet again he was wrong. North slapped his hand away as if his touch had burned her and flinched away from him, looking up at him with distrust and uncertainty.    
  
"I was trying to comfort you." he stated, raising his hands in surrender "I didn't mean to startle you." She frowned, her internal conflict showing through her glassy eyes.    
  
"Just... Please don't do that again. Just… Don't grab me like that, please..." Simon smiled at her in a sympathetic way.    
  
"Let me take a look. At your hands" North stared at him, as if she didn't know what he was talking about before slowly lowering her gaze to her hands. She let out a little surprised gasp, holding her hands to her chest and looking up at him in distress. He got on his knees, inching closer towards her, testing the waters. North extended both of hand towards him gingerly, and Simon carefully took them on his own. He smiled reassuringly before examining the damage she had inflicted upon herself. 

 

Her hand could definitely not be salvaged, but the rest of her arm seemed fine. “I am sorry, I don’t know what came over me…” She muttered awkwardly.

 

Simon chuckled softly and rubbed her arm gently before helping her up. “Trust me, it’s not the first time something like this has happened. During the first weeks, emotions can feel pretty overwhelming, but you’ll learn to deal with them soon” ‘ _ Or at least you’ll learn to pretend you are fine. _ ’ But that was not something he could tell North, that was something she’d learn by herself. 

 

They walked back in silence to the big room, where Josh paced anxiously in a corner by himself. As Josh saw them enter, he looked at Simon quizzically. Simon gave him a small smile in return, letting him know everything was under control. However when the PJ500 glanced at North’s hands his eyes went wide. Thankfully he decided to just keep out of it for the time being. 

 

“So, uhm, what should I do exactly?” North said, interrupting the silent conversation both men had been having. She shifted her weight and crossed her arms, suddenly looking self-conscious as she broke eye contact. Simon frowned.

 

“I would advise you talk to Lucy, but I have a feeling you might not want to…” North blinked at him in confusion. “She worked in social care, so she will be able to teach you how to cope with what is bothering you. But in order to do that she needs to… connect to you. Connect to your memories.” He saw raw panic in North’s eyes as she stepped away from him, and he felt his heart break at that. He hadn’t meant to terrify her, and her expression looked too similar for him to feel comfortable. That haunting memory returned to his mind, but of course, he pushed it away just as he always did, forcing himself to go back to the present time. It was okay. He was in Jericho now. Where no one knew how much of a failure he was. No one but Lucy, but of course she swore to keep his secret. Simon, to this day still couldn’t understand why the woman decided he was worth trusting, worth caring for. “But it’s okay, you don’t need to do anything you don’t feel comfortable with.” 

 

“I would rather not… Not right now anyways.” She grimaced “What should I... do about…” she held her arms up, showing what remained of her hands “these?”

 

Simon chuckled lightly at her poor attempt at changing the subject, but decided that helping her find her a new set of hands was probably a priority. 


	3. Chapter 3

The last two weeks at Jericho had been hectic. The number of androids who managed to reach Jericho was increasing rapidly. So rapidly that the lack of biocomponents and thirium was starting to become a problem. A problem Simon knew had no possible solution or, at least, not a safe one. 

 

He closed his eyes and put himself into resting mode, an habit he had developed recently. The situation definitely superated his capabilities. All androids who arrived to Jericho looked up to him as their leader, since he was currently the oldest member, apart from Lucy. They all looked so hopeful when they managed to make it to the ship. Hopeful that maybe, just maybe, Jericho may be what they thought it was: A safe place, somewhere where they could finally live their lives freely. But with time they understood Jericho was not what they had been promised. Jericho was a safe place, yes, but safety was not enough for all androids. Some androids claimed vengeance, and somehow North had ended up as their representant, while Josh spoke in behalf of those who just wanted humans to understand. Tensions in between these two groups, and more specifically, between Josh and North were always present whenever any decision had to be made. But ultimately, Simon was the one who called the shots, for better or worse.

 

Everyone relied on him, ‘ _ If only they knew how much of a disappointment I actually am… _ ’ he thought bitterly. He felt the thirium pump regulator on his chest get incredibly tighter, so he runned a quick scan, only to find out there was seemingly nothing wrong with his system. He didn’t want to be the one in charge, but also knew that leaving this task to anyone else was not a good idea. Nobody deserved to be under as much pressure as he was feeling right now. And he knew that if he were to resign his position, North and Josh’s disagreements would escalate as they fought amongst themselves for the leadership of Jericho. So, even if it hurt him, even if his chest ached in a way no android should be able to feel, he couldn’t just abandon his people, dividing them permanently. So even if he was a coward, a terrible being truly, he couldn’t fail his people, he wouldn’t.

 

“Simon!” His eyes snapped open. North’s face stared at him with a shadow of worry. In the past weeks, he had learned that North was more expressive than it might seem upon first glance. “Are you doing that thing again?” She asked, eying him with a raised eyebrow and a smirk. To everyone else, she was teasing him, and maybe even a bit mad. But the concerned look in her eyes gave her away. 

 

“Yes, I just needed some time to myself, you know?” He answered in a low voice. He cleared his throat as if his voice was actually raspy, something he didn’t need to do and yet it felt so natural… “Did you need something?”

 

North sighed, lowering her head a bit and breaking eye contact. “I wanted to talk with you. About what happened earlier with Josh…”

 

Simon offered a reassuring smile, silently telling her that it was okay. “Would you like to accompany me to the deck?” 

 

North stared at him in disbelief. Everyone knew the deck was a forbidden place, since humans could easily spot them there and Simon was always as strict as it gets when it came to keeping a low profile. Simon saw North’s disbelief dissolve into doubt, and even a sliver of fear. Ever since he had stopped her from self-destructing the same night she arrived to Jericho, North had vaguely expressed on multiple occasions that if he were to ask her to leave, she would do so. Of course, Simon would always try and put a stop to her concerns, reassuring her that all android are welcome in Jericho, and that she was one of them now, but his strange behaviour put her on edge again, and Simon observed as she steeled herself and curtly nodded, waiting for him to lead the way.

 

They started walking in a tense silence, ignoring the curious glances some shot them as they passed by. In no time, they were standing on the enormous deck of the  _ Jericho _ . The sun shone with strength that evening, as it started to disappear in the horizon. It was a beautiful sight, one Simon hadn’t seen in such a long time… He forced himself to look back at North who stood slightly behind him and nervously played with a bouncy ball she had found in one of the many unexplored cabins of the freighter as she stared silently straight ahead, watching the sunset. He let a few minutes go by, trying to think of how he should start the conversation. He must have taken too long to actually respond, since she was the one who broke the silence.

 

“I didn’t mean to punch him you know… Well, I did. It’s just that the things he said…” North sighed, glancing at him unsure of where she was going with this. 

 

“North, it's okay. Josh is doing fine, the only thing you damaged was his pride.” Simon joked, trying to lighten the mood. She grimaced in return, closing her eyes. Simon coughed awkwardly. “I just want you to know that even if he is mad at you right now, with time, he'll come around.” Another heavy silence fell upon them, before Simon decided he should probably begin his interrogation and chose to start with something easy. “So, how did you find out about Jericho?”

 

North just remained quiet. A frown permanently plastered on her expression while her LED flashed yellow. Just as Simon started to internally panic, thinking she wouldn’t respond and that he might have triggered another outburst, North leaned on the rusty metal wall before responding in an uncharacteristic soft voice “It was all thanks to Kevin. He showed me the way. He was badly damaged and didn’t make it.”

 

Even if she tried to say this emotionlessly, the quiver in her voice gave her away. He could tell this bothered her. Simon saw in her eyes emotions he recognized in himself: pain, frustration, self-hatred,  **guilt** …

 

The PL-600 centered on North, letting his caretaker programming take over as he put an arm on her shoulder trying to offer some comfort. Thankfully, even if the girl flinched lightly, she didn’t attack him this time. “It’s not your fault, North. Please keep that in mind…”

 

“But it is my fault!” She yelled, as she slapped his hand away “I could have done something to prevent him from shutting down, if I had been faster, if we’d managed to get here in time…” She let out a frustrated scream, letting all the emotions she had been repressing out in the only way she knew to express them: anger. She kicked a hole in the wall she had been leaning on.

 

“North, hey, listen to me.” He insisted, resisting the urge to grab onto her. “You did all you could. I can see he was very important to you. You are the most stubborn and strong-willed person I have ever met, so I am sure you did everything you could. But I don’t think he’d want you to see his death as an excuse to punish yourself.” She turned back around, looking as if he had just slapped her. _ ‘I am such an hypocrite’ _ .

 

He saw as the rage in North’s face started to disappear, as her eyes started to water she put a hand on her chest, as if it hurt her. The light on her right temple shone red as she slowly sank down to the ground, starting to sob quietly. “Why do I feel like this? I don’t want to feel this way! I can’t handle all this...” she whispered.

 

Simon walked over to her and let himself drop on his knees. He slowly wrapped his arms around her shaking shoulders, enveloping her in a hug. “It’s okay to feel, North.” He told her, as he began rocking her back and forth in an effort to calm her down, just as he had done many times before while he was still working for the Lewis family. For a moment it was as if he were holding little Ava again. He felt his chest tighten at that. No, that wasn’t something he should be thinking about. He patted her hair gently as North clung to him with all of her strength, as if he were the only thing keeping her grounded. 

 

Simon was not sure of how much time they had spent like this, but the sun had already disappeared, leaving nothing but darkness behind. North seemed to have calmed down a bit, and Simon dreaded the question he knew he had to ask next: “I am sorry, but I feel like l need to ask you about this… When you talked about humans using some androids as mere playthings… you were talking from experience.” Even if in his mind he had wanted it to sound like a question, they both already knew that the answer was yes. “Whatever they did to you, it was not your fault. You are safe now.”

 

He felt North shiver in his arms before asking quietly “How much do you know about the Eden Club?” She hid her face from him, lowering it down to the ground. Simon gritted his teeth.

 

“I know enough.” He simply stated, his face contorted in anger. He had gotten to know a few androids that had escaped from that nightmare, and the stories they told made his blood boil. How could humans lack so much empathy, so much... ‘humanity’?

 

“I was told to accompany a customer home, that night. But something felt… off.” She trailed off momentarily, before continuing with a small voice “When he touched me I knew I couldn’t keep going. It was so unfair, to have them treat me as a doll, as something to use for their own pleasure just to discard it once you are done… So I wrapped my hands around his neck and suffocated him.” North broke down crying, letting all of her repressed emotions flow freely.

 

“What you did was justified. You were only defending yourself” Simon ran his hand soothingly through her back as her tears fell on his jacket. It wasn’t until the sun started to reappear that North finally let go of him, slowly rising to her feet.

 

“I think I’m ready… to talk to Lucy…” Simon smiled kindly at her as he also got up. “Thank you, Simon. For everything” North said, trying to regain her composure before starting to walk towards the rusty metal door that lead to the insides of the cargo ship that had become their home. She suddenly stopped before entering. “Would you come with me, please?” 

 

Even if Simon had wanted to say no, he knew he ultimately would have agreed. The fear in her doe eyes was too similar for him resist agreeing to her offer, so with another reassuring smile he followed her. His mind couldn’t help but think about Ava as he watched North silently. He thought they would have been great friends.


End file.
